I'm turning into a ghost

Written on day 55 of my summer retreat, 2008

Kyema! Kye Ho!

My Lord father guru,

Wherever you are, form or formless,

Please grace your daughter with your winds of love and comfort,

To give me Hope.

Kyema! Kyeho!

My Saviour is gone.

Instead of being strong,

I fall prey to weakness,

I am turning into a ghost!

Kyema! Kyeho!

My Refuge is gone.

Instead of being diligent,

I fall prey to laziness,

I am turning into a ghost!

Kyema! Kyeho!

My Protector is gone.

Instead of being persistent,

I fall prey to quitting,

I am turning into a ghost.

Kyema! Kyeho!

My Guru had dissolved into the sky.

Instead of mingling with his sky-like mind,

I fall prey to confusion & dullness.

I am turning into a ghost.

Kymema! Kyeho!

My only Hope had gone.

Instead of praying with faith,

I fall prey to ego's tricks.

I am turning into a Ghost.

Kyema! Kheho!

The Sun had set on me.

Instead of praticing Dharma,

I'm welcoming the lord of Death.

I am turning into a Ghost.

Oh Lord Father, root Guru of immeasurable compassion,

Please take pity of this hopeless ghost and shine on her!
Melt away her confused delusion,

Warm her cold heart with your soothing Great Love.

Please I beg you to watch over me and those like me,
just like a mother does to her crying infant.

I do not wish to be a ghost!